So many times we let ourselves be controlled by the way we feel towards others. What I mean by this is that those people you can’t stand even looking at, that anger you feel, that grudge you’re holding on to is actually hurting you more than it will ever affect them. It has taken me a long time to learn this but the time finally came one day where I had to ask myself- how is being mad at so and so helping me?
Truth was, it doesn’t. In fact by holding onto this grudge it hurts you every day because you walk around with this pain and resentment day in and day out and it takes a toll on you. We are only human and as such the most powerful thing we can do is to FORGIVE. I know I know, I dropped the f bomb. Look, I know it’s not that easy because it’s usually the people closest to us that hurt us the most. We invest time and love on people and when they let you down, it hurts more than anything. I’m not saying that the road will be short or easy, but I can assure you that it will help you a great deal.
Learning to forgive is a task that must first be done within; you have to really forgive from the heart. This will be a bit uncomfortable especially if you let the anger and grudges fester for a long time but the moment you can forgive the person who has caused you harm, you will be set free. Forgiving is freedom; freedom from being a prisoner to something that hurt you in the past. So many times I have compared my life to others, my success to others and I can even get a little jealous and then I remember that we all have our own path, God has chosen you to do something specific with your life. Don’t take that for granted. When you release the things that have been holding you back, He will bless you beyond your wildest dreams.
It’s time, let it all go. Let you prosper and let yourself grow. Always remember: God’s got you.
I have been a fan of Devon Franklin since my sister introduced me to his first book “Produced by Faith” and I instantly found myself so impressed by his writing style and his sense of purpose. A few things that really inspire me about him include how he stands up for his faith, for serving God as a preacher and how he doesn’t let that affect his career – in fact it has only furthered his career as a producer. When I found out that he married Meagan Good I was so surprised, firstly because I only knew of her as an actress and I didn’t really associate her with being an outspoken Christian. Soon after, I found out that Devon and Meagan wrote a book called “The Wait” which was released in early March 2016.
I have since read the entire book and WOW. Have you ever read a book that you like so much that you intentionally drag it out as much as possible? The day finally came where I had to finish it and I’m so sad it’s over. I feel like this book has answered so many internal questions that I didn’t even know I had. For so long I have struggled with wanting to settle down and much of it has to do with the phrase itself. Why would I want to SETTLE for just anyone? I know the right person is out there for me but I have been approaching it all wrong.
In the generation I am from, the 90’s it’s a miracle if you find someone who is actually in a serious relationship that you can guarantee is heading for marriage. Don’t get me wrong I’m not judging anyone’s relationship and I wish you all the best, I’m just stating a fact. A lot of the people my age are just “talking” or “seeing where it goes” which doesn’t make any sense at all. If you don’t know where you’re heading as a couple you should probably talk about that considering that you’re investing so much time on them. This book has clarified to me the importance of taking your time to really get to know people, we don’t always take our time to explore the person we’re interested in other ways than just sexually.
As humans we want to show our “love” or “passion” by touch or by giving ourselves to the person we care about. In all honesty I never knew why I was “waiting” before but now that I see the importance of that Waiting process I realize that if you are waiting to be intimate with anyone it should be for a reason, not just because you’re having a dry spell. There are many lessons about this, about learning more about who you really are, and learning who God has for you. I would give this book 5/5 on a 1 to 5 scale, not because I’m biased but because this book really spoke to me and I am so thankful that these two shared their experience and I wish them nothing but blessings in their marriage. I thank you for writing about the reality that is marriage in this day and age, and doing your part to point people in the right direction.
I love to see people happy, I love to be the reason someone smiles.
In many situations in my life I have done things just to make someone else happy, I have sacrificed things in my life to see it please someone else. The problem with that is that it leaves me feeling like there’s a void. Oftentimes I look back to reflect on things and I wonder why I did something or ask myself what were you thinking?
Have you ever had a moment where you randomly remember something that happened in the past and you just can’t remember the justification for doing it? In reality, we as human are creatures of habit and once we begin to do something there is high possibility that we will not change it.
Why do you think this is? Change is scary. A lot of the reasons why I haven’t done something are because I was afraid that I would fail. In fact, the reason it took me so long to start this blog was because I would think, “No one will read it, and no one will even care.” Why do we let our fears control us? Why do we allow our growth to stall because we’re already foreseeing all the things that could go wrong? We create all these imaginary scenarios that haven’t even happened. I myself have been victim of this; I have been too worried to do something because I’ve also cared far too much what others will think.
The ironic thing is that the reason I decided to do this blog is because I know a lot of the time I rant about topics in my life but I also know that we need people that we can relate too and I am not the only one who goes through things in life and I am also not the only one who needs to read the harsh reality of things. Sometimes it’s not about what you want to hear, but instead what you need to hear.
Stop being so scared, it’s true you could probably try something new and maybe it won’t work out but there’s also a chance that it could be your breakthrough or your calling. You will never know until you give it a shot, give yourself a chance- you’re capable of great things. Most importantly, if you decide to do something, do it for YOU and for no one else.
Growing up has made me stronger and faithful and also a bit guarded. Time and time again I have seen tragic things happen all around me, some things look inevitable. I myself have been through a great deal of pain and I have always been the person who conceals it and locks it away and puts a large stone blocking it from coming out. This pain goes with me everywhere, in moments of happiness I remember the glimpse of pain hidden within and this stops me from enjoying the happiness in front of me.
I’ve grown so tired of pretending that everything is “okay.” I’ve gotten so tired of being “so strong” all the time because I am here to tell you that I’m not always that girl, behind closed doors I have cried myself to sleep. This isn’t often but I’d be lying to say it’s never happened. The pain that has been bottled up has just been holding me down, until I finally realized that I need to do something about it. But what? Just suck it up and get over it ?
WHY?! I should be allowed to break down if I need to, it’s not healthy to hold it in all the time. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to be vulnerable – I know it’s so effing scary and I know that it hurts and you don’t want to feel that again but the truth is that you can’t heal until you let it out.
LET YOUR HEART HEAL.
Do you have any idea how much God loves you? All he wants to do is cry with you and feel the pain you’re feeling and heal you. I firmly believe that if you let Him in, you will finally be happy again because he will make sure of it. So you and your boyfriend broke up, perhaps that relationship was not meant for you. You lost a loved one and it hurts to grieve every day even though you know that it’s like a throbbing pain because you know you’ll eventually see them again but not in the moment which is what matters, take comfort in knowing how Blessed you are to have had them in your life in the first place. So you got fired, there is a better job waiting for you. I myself am in the midst of this and my heart already feels so much lighter when I take a moment out of my day and let myself heal a little bit more.
FYI- I was inspired by John 11 for those interested.